Wholesome Chocolate Coffee Dessert Bread

Bakery worthy recipe right here you guys! And pretty darn healthy too. It's my Chocolate Coffee Dessert Bread and it's my new obsession. I shall eat you (the bread) all up and when you are all gone, I will make another. I'm now the God of all vegan chocolate dessert breads. Whoa, ego check. That's rude.  Here's how I became said God. We have so many leftovers you guys. So many. Todd and I aren't what I'd call massive eaters. Don't get me wrong, I freaking love food. Like, going to the grocery store is literally one of my favorite things to do. I. Love. Grocery. Shopping. There's no way you looove grocery shopping if you don't have delicious thoughts of food that continually preoccupy and intrude your mind on an hourly basis. I guess it makes up for my extreme aversion to every other possible type of shopping out there. Whether it's for clothes, home, beauty, or what have you. But especially the clothes. What I'm trying to say is that we just don't eat food in gargantuan amounts. What does this have to do with this dessert bread? I'm getting there.

Okay, loads of leftovers. In our house, that means it's obviously time for me to make something sweet! I wanted to make a bread (being easy was a requirement), but it had to be kind of dessert-like (obvs), it had to have chocolate (duh), annnd it had to be somewhat healthy (I know, I know). Finally, I settled on a chocolate coffee dessert bread. This bread was a total experiment and I knew that if it completely flopped, I'd have no post for today. I made peace with that and went on my merry way. 

Why was this bread such an underdog (or All-Star depending on your viewpoint)? You'll find out. Firstly, no chicken eggs. Flax seed eggs are used instead. Vegan baking can be tricky, especially if you've learned to bake using non-vegan ingredients. I also used two parts all-purpose flour and one part whole wheat pastry flour, to add a bit of nutrition. Next time I make this, and there will be a next time very soon, I'll try it with only whole wheat pastry flour. No canola oil. People get all sketched out by using olive oil in baked goodies. I pretty much always use olive oil (or coconut oil) because canola oil is just straight-up dodgy, you know? I've never really had an issue baking with it, unless the dessert is very delicate with regards to flavor. Other tastes overpower any potentially offending note from the olive oil, in my experience. 

But that's not all I did. Nope. The big undertaking was using almost entirely dates to sweeten this dessert bread! I'd read up about how 1 cup of dates can be blended with 1/2-1 cup water to make a date paste that can replace 1 cup of sugar. However, I'd never really tried it and honestly I had to really Google the shit out of it to find the ratio. Surprise, it's pretty much one to one. I use dates in my smoothies and the like, but I'd never flat out used it as a substitute for sugar when baking.

I wish I had discovered this earlier! Check out the graphic below on dates kicking sugar out of the park with a big, nutritious punch to the face! Dates have almost half the calories, cup for cup compared to sugar, 12 grams of fiber and a whole lotta potassium. So next time, try using dates instead of sugar in your baking! 

Have you tried the Google food comparison thing? Just type in any two foods with "vs" in between them into the Google search bar. I discovered this on accident one day by typing in "yam vs sweet potato"...and now I'm addicted to. You should definitely go try it. Moving on, since there's already 1 cup non-dairy milk in this recipe, I decided I would blend the dates with that. I wasn't sure if the bread would be sweet enough, so I added 2 Tbsp. of vegan sugar just to be safe. My sweet tooth told me to do it. I was also a little scared that the bread wouldn't rise for one reason or another. Let's just say this bread was loads scary and there were many leaps of faith taken by yours truly. 

But oh boy did my boldness pay off. This bread has the absolute perfect texture. It's dense but not brick-like. Fudgy but not goopy. Moist but not wet, and crumbly but not in excess. There's a rich, chocolate flavor that's balanced by the coffee and since this bread isn't exceptionally sweet, those deep flavors are really empowered.

Wholesome Chocolate Coffee Dessert Bread

Makes 1 loaf

Notes: This bread can be as sweet as you'd like, or not! Feel free to add 1/2 cup of chocolate chips to sweeten the deal, or additional sugar. 

• Prep:
• 1 Tbsp. ground flax seed
• 2 Tbsp. water
• 1 cup sweetened (or not) coconut or soy milk
• 1 Tbsp. lemon juice
• 1 tsp. apple cider vinegar
• Blender:
• 1 1/2 cup pitted medjool dates, packed (about 17)
• 2-4 Tbsp. vegan sugar (optional)
• 1-2 packets of instant coffee granules (2-4 grams) 
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract
• Dry:
• 1 cup all purpose flour
• 1/2 cup whole wheat pastry flour
• 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1/2 tsp. baking soda
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• End:
• 1/2 cup olive oil
• small bit of powdered sugar

In a small bowl, mix together the ground flax seed and the water. Place in the fridge until ready to use. 

In a pyrex measuring cup or bowl, whisk together the milk, lemon juice, and vinegar. Allow to rest until ready to use, at least 5 minutes. 

Preheat oven to 350 F and coat a loaf pan with a nonstick cooking spray. 

Add the blender ingredients to a blender. Now add the flax mixture and the milk mixture. Blend on high, until the dates are pulverized into a smooth paste. 

In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the dry ingredients.

Stir the contents of the blender into the dry ingredients until almost mixed, then add the olive oil. Continue to stir until the batter is well combined. 

Pour the batter into the loaf pan and bake at 350 F for about 50 minutes, until set. When done, remove and allow to cool in the pan on a wire cooling rack for 10 minutes. 

Then, transfer to a cutting board and dust with powdered sugar. I don't have a fancy sifter, so I just use my mesh strainer.

Cut into slices and serve. Store in an airtight container. This bread might taste even better the next day, in my opinion. 

Bob wasn't pleased that he didn't get any of the bread. No chocolate for dogs, Bobbeldore! 

Listening to: Keren Ann – End Of May

German Word of The Day: Coffee --> Kaffee (pronounced: kaffee or kaff-E) So, not that exciting...but now you know!

Good Deed of The Day: Take action and sign this petition to tell the Department of Justice to hold BP accountable for dolphin deaths due to the BP oil spill in the Gulf. The author is the Environmental Defense Fund. 

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Healthy & Energizing Hazelnut Brownie Bars

So dessert won last night. Well, kind of. 

Todd and I are going on The Ski Train this weekend! It's an all-day train party ride (like a legit, real life train) that goes over 130 miles one way from Anchorage, past Talkeetna to Curry Ridge where it will stop and myself and hundreds of other cool cats will ski their little hearts out. Then we'll all pile back on, eat a bunch of food, drink a bunch of adult beverages, and enjoy the scenery on the way back home. Photos to come!

I am so psyched you have no idea. It's usually sold out instantly and you can only get tickets if you happen to be a member of the nordic ski club...which we are. Oh! And there's a polka band too! Yes, a polka band. We'll be playing lots of Apples to Apples and Carcassonne and probably polka dancing as well. I dunno, I hear it's a thing. My brother and sister-in-law will be joining us! It will be epic.

Anyways, I realized I needed to make something to bring with us and I knew these brownie bars would be perfect. They've got oats and black beans, flax seed too along with hazelnuts to keep us fueled up for the big ski. Plus they're freaking delicious, man. I only allowed myself to one yesterday, so we can take the rest with us! Picture me, on a train, in a corner scarfing down these bars with a mouth-fulla chocolate. 

These fudgy bars are reminiscent of brownies, not too sweet and packed full of healthy goodies. A nutritious energy bar that tastes like a brownie but boasts ample protein and complex carbs to keep you fueled throughout the day. Plus, they're done in a cinch and easy peasy. 

Healthy & Energizing Hazelnut Brownie Bars

Serves 10 

• 1/2 cup hazelnuts, toasted and chopped
• 2 Tbsp. ground flax seed
• 6 Tbsp. water
• 1 cup vegan chocolate chips
• 1/2 old-fashioned oats, dry
• 1 15 oz. can black beans, drained and rinsed
• 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 Tbsp. coconut oil
• 1/4 cup water
• 1 tsp. kosher salt
• flake salt for sprinkling (optional)

Preheat oven to 400 F and roughly chop the hazelnuts. Spread on a baking sheet and toast at 400 F for about 3 minutes or until fragrant. Be sure they don't burn! When done, remove from oven and set aside. Reduce oven to 350 F.

Meanwhile, whisk together the flax and 6 Tbsp. water in a small bowl. Refrigerate until ready to use. 

In a food processor, add the chocolate chips and the oats. Pulse until roughly chopped, about 30 seconds. 

Now, add the remaining ingredients excluding the flake salt. Don't forget to add the flax mixture! Process until fairly smooth, scraping down the sides as needed, about 3 minutes. Add the toasted hazelnuts and pulse to combine. 

Coat a bread pan with nonstick cooking spray. Pour in the batter and spread it out so it's smooth and even. The brownie bars will not rise at all in the oven. Bake for 60 minutes, rotating the pan halfway through. 

Remove from oven and allow to sit in pan until completely cool. Then, transfer to a cutting board, sprinkle with salt and additional hazelnuts. Carefully cut into 10 slices. Keep wrapped in saran wrap. 

Is it Saturday morning yet?

[soundcloud url="https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/32871585" params="color=67ab9f&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_artwork=true" width="100%" height="166" iframe="true" /]

German Word of The Day: Hazelnut --> Hasselnuss (pronounced: hahsell-noose) Brownie is...just brownie, so I couldn't use that obviously. 

Good Deed of The Day: Um, so this petition is to stop the horrific dog meat trade in china and demand that they make animal cruelty laws. Yea. You'll definitely want to be a part of this one. Trust me. Imagine if your dog was stolen and caged, treated horrendously, then slaughtered and consumed. That's what I thought...sign this. 

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Homemade Bagels and What I Learned

This weekend, it was finally time. Bagel time. I've been saying, "I'm going to make bagels this weekend!" for like...four weekends in a row now. 

But, the bagels will have to wait just a minute while I share this common sense quote. Today, I stumbled across this and I thought it was just so simple, honest, and matter-of-fact that I had to share. 

Duhhhhhhhhh. If you love animals, don't eat them! Would you eat your beloved dog or cat? I hope not. This quote in its plainest offering makes sense, right? Yes. That's about all there is to it. So, thank you Morrissey!

And now, back to bagels. This was my first time making bagels and boy did I learn a thing or two (the hard way). Read this post and you won't make the same mistakes I did. Here's what I learned:

• Knead the dough until it's smooth and shiny. 
• Shaping the dough correctly is terribly important.
• Bagel dough doesn't really rise. 
• Remove the bagels from the boiling water with a mesh strainer...not two slotted spoons. 

Chewy, dense, and slightly sweet, these bagels are what's up. If you're new to making bagels don't miss out! 

Homemade Bagels 

Makes 8 Bagels

Notes: If you can't find barley malt powder, barley malt syrup can be used as well. I really can't recommend making the bagels without either. It's what gives bagels that "bageliness". I found my powder at a local health food store, but it can be found online as well. Or, if you're feeling like a rebellious I suppose one could use agave nectar, but seriously just but some barley malt powder or syrup. It's definitely worth it. 

• 4 cups bread flour (or other high-gluten flour)
• 2 tsp. salt
• 1 Tbsp. barley malt powder
• 1 1/2 tsp. dry active yeast
• 1 1/4 cup lukewarm water
• 1 Tbsp. additional barley malt powder
• toppings (we did cinnamon sugar as well as salt bagels)

In a large electric mixing bowl, whisk together the flour, salt, and 1 Tbsp. barley malt powder. 

Attach the dough hook and using the lowest speed possible (stir), add in the yeast and the water. Mix for about 4 minutes. Increase the speed to the next level (2), and mix for about 10 minutes. 

Turn the dough on a lightly floured surface. The dough will be a bit sticky. Knead until the dough shapes a smooth and shiny ball. 

Divide into 8 equal balls (each about 4 oz.), and place on a baking sheet. Cover with saran wrap and a towel. Allow to rest for 5 minutes.

Next, roll one of the balls into a log, about the length of your hand. Connect the two ends. The bagel ring should be even in size. Here's the important part; bagel dough doesn't really rise, so be sure to shape the dough to how you want your bagel to look when it's cooked. For example, make sure there isn't a big gaping hole in the middle like mine! The shape of the dough should look like, well, a bagel pretty much. Repeat with the remaining dough balls and place on a baking sheet coated lightly with flour, cover with saran-wrap and place in the fridge for 12-18 hours. 

Remove the bagel dough from the fridge. Preheat oven to 450 F, and if you have a pizza/baking stone, make sure it's in the oven to preheat as well. If you don't have one that's okay too. Bring a large soup pot of water (about 3 inches) to a roiling boil with 1 Tbsp. of the barley malt powder. Fill a large bowl with cold water. 

Prepare a wire cooling rack for the bagels to be placed on when they are done boiling. Prep any toppings you'd like in a few shallow bowls as well. One at a time, place the dough rings in the bowl of cold water. If they float, they're ready to boil. If not, check again in five minutes.

When the oven is to temperature, the water is boiling, and you have at least 4 ready to boil rings, go ahead and place four in the boiling water. Be sure to keep them submerged with a slotted spoon (as they should float), and boil for 30-60 seconds, or until they are slighted puffed. Remove with a mesh strainer...I don't recommend using two slotted spoons like I did! 

Place the boiled bagels on a wire cooling rack and repeat with the other half of the batch. When they've all been boiled and have cooled slightly, coat the top in whatever toppings you'd like.

Then, place all the bagels on the pre-heated pizza stone or on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and bake at 450 F for 15 minutes.

Remove from the oven and place on a wire rack to cool. Serve warm, and store in an airtight container. 

Good deed of the day: Speak Out Against Walmart's Cruelty to Pigs. Why wouldn't you? You'll see my signature there! It only takes five seconds and ugh, Walmart, don't even get me started...

German word of the day: Bakery --> Bäckerei (pronounced: bake-er-rye) 

Listening to: [soundcloud url="https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/58610816" params="color=73bd97&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_artwork=true" width="100%" height="166" iframe="true" /]

[yumprint-recipe id='83']Recipe slightly adapted from Cook's Illustrated, so you know it's good.