Chickweed Pesto

“Regardless of anyone’s dietary motivations, the healthiest lifestyle is the one that’s most compassionate.”

— Steve-O

The truthest of truths from none other than Steve-O. Yep, you read that right. Anyway, another truth? Whoever came up with pesto is a god. This is a fact. Whoever first decided to make it with chickweed...also a god.  

Forget everything you know about pesto. You don't know jack unless you've made pesto with chickweed pulled from the earth yourself. It sounds harsh, but this is absolute. When I'm picking the chickweed, Basil comes crawling over like, "What about me? You're forgetting me!" and I'm all, "Get outta the way, Basil, geesh. I don't need you! I don't want you." You might be asking, "Why chickweed?" That's so weird, it's...a weed! Yes I know, but I will seriously be cultivating it henceforth my friends. Here's Bob, cultivating chickweed with me. Or maybe he's just laying there watching me...

Chickweed pesto is the best thing I've ever had in my entire life. This is not a joke or an over inflation. It would absolutely be my last meal on Earth. I dreamt about it last night. I've been in complete distress about what to do when winter hits and I no longer have access to the weedy greens. Is there a chickweed farm somewhere on this planet? Can I buy it and have it shipped to me? These are questions that surely need answering if I am to calm myself of my pesto craze before the snow flies. 

I made it again the other night and literally hid the evidence so my brother wouldn't find out and eat it all. He's a man obsessed too. It's all he talks about now. Unfortunately, he asked what I had for dinner and I couldn't lie because you know I am the world's worst liar. You guys, the boy flung off his shoes and ran to the kitchen...where he proceeded to eat my beloved chickweed pesto.

There is something so incredibly earthy about this pesto. Here's the best way I can describe it. Okay, so you know when you buy the seriously horrendous pre-ground nutmeg in those little spice bottles at the supermarket? Make it the value brand too. Okay, now remember the first time you tried freshly ground nutmeg? From an actual little nutmeg pod (who knew right)? All other pestos = value brand pre-ground nutmeg. Chickweed pesto = nutmeg freshly ground by the divine hands of Santa Marta (patron saint of cooks). Yep, that's about all you need to know. Also, if you've never had freshly ground nutmeg....OH MY GOD, stop buying the pre-ground stuff already. I know, I know, I've totally been there but if there's one spice you must, must, must grind yourself surely it is nutmeg. Everyone knows that, I'm not just being bossy. I swear. Okay, maybe a little bit. Sorry.

So gracefully make your way, nay, run outside and gather up all the goddamn chickweed you can people! You'll need less than you think. Four cups is essentially four handfuls. Find it wherever you can. Your neighbors will love your for weeding their garden, no need to even ask. It likes to grow in moist soil and/or shady areas, especially places that have been tilled, like gardens (according to my Dad). I harvest it from a part of my yard that was tore up by tire tracks this spring (not by me). 

And now, because I feel I must...please make sure you know what you are harvesting. If you're unsure, don't be a dolt and eat it (like me). Here's a link to all things chickweed. Also, be sure to wash it real good...erm...especially if you have furry animals around. 

Full disclosure: You may hate this. Wait, wait! Only if you're pretty indifferent to pesto to begin with (like Todd). Then don't even go here, this is some hardcore pesto. Todd told me it tasted like a freshly cut lawn and he's weirded out by the fact that I got it from the yard. He's wrong though, don't listen to his lies. It's heaven on Earth. 

Pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, and walnuts lend a softer richness than the usual pinenuts. Plus, you won't go broke making this pesto. Miso and soy sauce are added for complexity and really bring this pesto to the next level with a boost of umami flavor! 

Produce On Parade - Chickweed Pesto

Produce On Parade - Chickweed Pesto

Produce On Parade - Chickweed Pesto

Produce On Parade - Chickweed Pesto

Produce On Parade - Chickweed Pesto

Chickweed Pesto

Makes about 4 cups

Notes: This makes a lot of pesto so if you feel so inclined, cut the recipe in half. But I recommend just freezing the leftovers for use later. Feel free to use whatever combination of nuts you like here. 

Ingredients

• 4 cups chickweed, washed
• 1/2 cup olive oil
• 1/2 cup pumpkin seeds (pepitas)
• 1/4 cup sunflower seeds
• 1/4 cup walnuts
• 1/4 cup + 2 Tbsp. nutritional yeast
• 3 fresh garlic cloves, peeled 
• 1 Tbsp. miso paste
• 1 Tbsp. liquid amino acids (or soy sauce)
• 1/2 Tbsp. lemon juice
• dash of ground black pepper

Instructions

Combine everything in a food processor and process a few minutes, until smooth. Mix into hot, cooked pasta! Or stir into quinoa, millet, couscous or stuff it into mushrooms! 

German Word of The Day

Chickweed --> Vogelmiere (fogel-meer) - Vogel means bird! 

Good Deed of The Day

Did you there's a tiger named Tony who's been enslaved as a truck stop attraction for the past 10 years, where he's confined to a 3,200 square foot cage? WTF, right?! Let's try and not be the armpit stubble of the world and allow this to continue. 

Creamy Chard Pasta with Porcinis and Peas

Poor chard. Everyone is all about kale right now. I get the hype, but sometimes we need to pay our respects to the classical beauty that is...chard.

Yep, this green darling is absolutely magical sauteed. Plus, it comes in so many beautiful forms. Red chard, swiss chard, rainbow chard!? When sauteed, this leafy gal transforms into a silky and deliciate green that's perfect for eating alone, or blending into a sauce. 

A silky chard sauce saturates shell pasta studded with sliced, hearty porcini mushrooms and tender sweet peas. 

Creamy Chard Pasta with Porcinis and Peas

Serves 6

• 8 oz. dried porcini mushrooms, reconstituted
• 16 oz. dry pasta shells
• 1/2 cup frozen peas (6 oz.)
• Saute:
• 1 Tbsp. olive oil
• 1/2 large brown onion, diced
• 3 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 large bunch of chard, de-stemmed and chopped
• Sauce:
• 12 oz. silken firm tofu (Mori-Nu)
• 1/4 cup nutritional yeast
• splash of lemon juice
• dash of black pepper
• dash of salt
• pinch of nutmeg
• pinch of sugar

Directions:

Start by reconstituting the porcinis. Place the in a bowl and submerge completely with boiling water. Allow to rest until ready to use or about 20-30 minutes. 

Bring a large pot of water to boil for the pasta.

In a large rimmed frying pan, heat oil over medium-low. Add onion and garlic and saute a few minutes until the onions begin to soften. Add the chard and saute 5-8 minutes, until quite wilted.

In a blender, combine all the sauce ingredients and add the sauteed chard mixture. Blend on high until very creamy and smooth. 

Add the pasta to the boiling water and cook until just al dente. Drain. 

Transfer the sauce back to the frying pan along with the peas. Remove the mushrooms from their water with a slotted spoon and slice. Add to the sauce and heat over low until the pasta is ready.

Add the drained pasta to the sauce and stir well to coat. 

Serve hot. 

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German Word of The Day:

Chard --> Mangold (pronounced: mangold)

Good Deed of The Day:

Tell Donna Wieting, Director, Office of Protected Resources, to Protect Critical Habitat for North Atlantic Right Whales!

[yumprint-recipe id='120']

The Best Vegetable Chow Mein

Sorry, I know I've been a bit absent. We finally moved completely into our new little house and the old one is history! Unfortunately, the computer was one of the last things to go because we didn't yet have internet at our new place and thus, no posts. You have my sincerest of apologies. But now I'm back!  Onto today's post. The first post and photos done in our new place! Anyway, one day, in the big city Anchorage while shopping for our new couch I stopped to get some quick dinner . Shopping really takes it out of me and I needed something totally delicious to take my mind off the task at hand and refresh my decision making skills. I decided to stop at New Sagaya (a local health food/ethnic grocer) to see what they had available. 

What I found was a vegetable chow mein. Not my usual lunch fare, but I thought what the heck. Sweet sassy molassy! Upon tasting these mind-blowing noodles I asked myself, "Why haven't I been eating chow mein every damn day of my life?" 

Since that very fateful day (we did find a couch too, afterall) I couldn't stop thinking about the chow mein. I knew I needed to make it myself. So, I lowered my standards. Like, super low. So, sooo low. I'd never made it before! Well, when my chow mein was done and I tasted it...it was exactly like the one I had bought at New Sagaya, albeit less greasy, which I was very pleased about. It was uncommonly delicious.

There are a few tips and tricks regarding this recipe that will indeed gift you with the best chow mein you've ever made.

- First, I did a little research on chow mein noodles by consulting America's Test Kitchen to find the best type to use. They recommend the tangled chow mein noodles as opposed to the straight kind and be sure they are not fried! You'll want dried noodles as well, not fresh. I read that if you're not blessed with finding said noodles, to substitute regular dried linguine instead. I know, sounds crazy but ATK has never let me down. 

- Second, undercook those little chow mein mofos. Trust me. Not normal ol' al dente, they should be even more underdone. There is a lot of sauce in my recipe (I admit, this was 90% by complete accident) but the undercooked noodles will soak it all right up and they will be the perfect texture and have the perfect taste. I know, genius. Even if a little by accident...

So, prepare to amaze your friends, family, and yes, even yourself with your awesome ability to create the most perfect vegetable chow mein. These perfectly textured noodles are infused with a homemade Asian sauce and tangled with sauteed Napa cabbage, carrots, and rich Shiitake mushrooms. 

The Best Vegetable Chow Mein

Serves 6-8

• Sustenance:
• 1 oz. dried shiitake mushrooms, reconstituted (or 8 oz. fresh)
• 1 Tbsp. olive oil or canola oil 
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 2 large carrots, matchsticked 
• 1 medium Napa cabbage, chopped
• 2 6 oz. packages of tangled chow mein noodles, dry (not the fried kind!)
• 1 bunch of green onions, sliced on the diagonal 
• Sauce:
• 3/4 cup water
• 1/2 cup soy sauce
• 3 Tbsp. vegan sugar
• 2 Tbsp. sesame oil
• 1-2 Tbsp. sweet chili sauce
• dash of crushed red pepper
• sesame seeds (for garnish)

Notes & Tips: It's important to use the right noodles! Find the non-fried chow mein noodles that are tangled, as opposed to straight. The noodles should be undercooked. There will seem to be an excess of sauce, but the undercooked  noodles will soak it all up!

In a medium bowl, add the dried mushrooms and cover with a substantial amount of boiling water. Allow to rest until ready to use, at least 20 minutes. 

In a very large rimmed frying pan, heat the olive oil over medium-low. Add the garlic and saute for a couple minutes, until fragrant. Now, add the carrots and saute about 3-5 minutes, while preparing the cabbage. 

Add the cabbage and saute until almost tender and wilted. This can be done in batches if the pan won't accommodate all the cabbage at once. 

Meanwhile, bring a very large pot of water to boil. While the water is coming to a boil, whisk together the sauce ingredients in a medium bowl or measuring cup.

When ready, remove the mushrooms from the water with a slotted spoon. Slice and add to the veggies.

Add the noodles when the pasta water comes to a boil and cook only 3 minutes. They need to be undercooked. Drain and add to the veggies along with the green onions. Stir well to combine. 

Pour the sauce into the noodle/veggie mixture and continuously stir over medium-low until the liquid is almost completely gone. It'll be ready when the noodles start to stick to the bottom of the pan a bit.

Remove from heat and serve hot, garnished with a sprinkling of sesame seeds.

OoooOooooOooooo....

German Word of The Day: Absent --> abwesend (ahp-veeis-nt)

Good Deed of The Day: Help Free the "Sentosa 25" from Resort World in Sentosa Singapore. Twenty-five bottlenose dolphins that once roamed free and wild are now facing a life of captivity and sadness as permanent residents of Resorts World - Sentosa, Singapore. These dolphins were captured in the waters of the Solomon Islands and are now being kept in the Philippines while the new facility at Resorts World Sentosa is being built. Two of them have already tragically died.