Chickweed Pesto

“Regardless of anyone’s dietary motivations, the healthiest lifestyle is the one that’s most compassionate.”

— Steve-O

The truthest of truths from none other than Steve-O. Yep, you read that right. Anyway, another truth? Whoever came up with pesto is a god. This is a fact. Whoever first decided to make it with chickweed...also a god.  

Forget everything you know about pesto. You don't know jack unless you've made pesto with chickweed pulled from the earth yourself. It sounds harsh, but this is absolute. When I'm picking the chickweed, Basil comes crawling over like, "What about me? You're forgetting me!" and I'm all, "Get outta the way, Basil, geesh. I don't need you! I don't want you." You might be asking, "Why chickweed?" That's so weird, it's...a weed! Yes I know, but I will seriously be cultivating it henceforth my friends. Here's Bob, cultivating chickweed with me. Or maybe he's just laying there watching me...

Chickweed pesto is the best thing I've ever had in my entire life. This is not a joke or an over inflation. It would absolutely be my last meal on Earth. I dreamt about it last night. I've been in complete distress about what to do when winter hits and I no longer have access to the weedy greens. Is there a chickweed farm somewhere on this planet? Can I buy it and have it shipped to me? These are questions that surely need answering if I am to calm myself of my pesto craze before the snow flies. 

I made it again the other night and literally hid the evidence so my brother wouldn't find out and eat it all. He's a man obsessed too. It's all he talks about now. Unfortunately, he asked what I had for dinner and I couldn't lie because you know I am the world's worst liar. You guys, the boy flung off his shoes and ran to the kitchen...where he proceeded to eat my beloved chickweed pesto.

There is something so incredibly earthy about this pesto. Here's the best way I can describe it. Okay, so you know when you buy the seriously horrendous pre-ground nutmeg in those little spice bottles at the supermarket? Make it the value brand too. Okay, now remember the first time you tried freshly ground nutmeg? From an actual little nutmeg pod (who knew right)? All other pestos = value brand pre-ground nutmeg. Chickweed pesto = nutmeg freshly ground by the divine hands of Santa Marta (patron saint of cooks). Yep, that's about all you need to know. Also, if you've never had freshly ground nutmeg....OH MY GOD, stop buying the pre-ground stuff already. I know, I know, I've totally been there but if there's one spice you must, must, must grind yourself surely it is nutmeg. Everyone knows that, I'm not just being bossy. I swear. Okay, maybe a little bit. Sorry.

So gracefully make your way, nay, run outside and gather up all the goddamn chickweed you can people! You'll need less than you think. Four cups is essentially four handfuls. Find it wherever you can. Your neighbors will love your for weeding their garden, no need to even ask. It likes to grow in moist soil and/or shady areas, especially places that have been tilled, like gardens (according to my Dad). I harvest it from a part of my yard that was tore up by tire tracks this spring (not by me). 

And now, because I feel I must...please make sure you know what you are harvesting. If you're unsure, don't be a dolt and eat it (like me). Here's a link to all things chickweed. Also, be sure to wash it real good...erm...especially if you have furry animals around. 

Full disclosure: You may hate this. Wait, wait! Only if you're pretty indifferent to pesto to begin with (like Todd). Then don't even go here, this is some hardcore pesto. Todd told me it tasted like a freshly cut lawn and he's weirded out by the fact that I got it from the yard. He's wrong though, don't listen to his lies. It's heaven on Earth. 

Pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, and walnuts lend a softer richness than the usual pinenuts. Plus, you won't go broke making this pesto. Miso and soy sauce are added for complexity and really bring this pesto to the next level with a boost of umami flavor! 

Produce On Parade - Chickweed Pesto

Produce On Parade - Chickweed Pesto

Produce On Parade - Chickweed Pesto

Produce On Parade - Chickweed Pesto

Produce On Parade - Chickweed Pesto

Chickweed Pesto

Makes about 4 cups

Notes: This makes a lot of pesto so if you feel so inclined, cut the recipe in half. But I recommend just freezing the leftovers for use later. Feel free to use whatever combination of nuts you like here. 

Ingredients

• 4 cups chickweed, washed
• 1/2 cup olive oil
• 1/2 cup pumpkin seeds (pepitas)
• 1/4 cup sunflower seeds
• 1/4 cup walnuts
• 1/4 cup + 2 Tbsp. nutritional yeast
• 3 fresh garlic cloves, peeled 
• 1 Tbsp. miso paste
• 1 Tbsp. liquid amino acids (or soy sauce)
• 1/2 Tbsp. lemon juice
• dash of ground black pepper

Instructions

Combine everything in a food processor and process a few minutes, until smooth. Mix into hot, cooked pasta! Or stir into quinoa, millet, couscous or stuff it into mushrooms! 

German Word of The Day

Chickweed --> Vogelmiere (fogel-meer) - Vogel means bird! 

Good Deed of The Day

Did you there's a tiger named Tony who's been enslaved as a truck stop attraction for the past 10 years, where he's confined to a 3,200 square foot cage? WTF, right?! Let's try and not be the armpit stubble of the world and allow this to continue. 

Spiced Rum, Caramel, Cardamom Banana Ice Cream

“It’s not a requirement to eat animals, we just choose to do it, so it becomes a moral choice and one that is having a huge impact on the planet, using up resources and destroying the biosphere.”

— James Cameron

Let us take this time to thank Mr. Cameron for Avatar, Titanic, and his words of wisdom regarding veganism. Amen. Now, it's time for sweets! Did I mention this ice cream is salted too?! I couldn't fit it in the title...but everything is better salted. It's science.

I may have just had bananas and rum for dinner the other night. What?? Don't look at me that way. I'm fairly certain I remember one of the vegan food groups being banana and the other being rum. Okay, so that might be a bit of a fabrication, but bananas-runneth-over in our house right now and I had to think of something to do with them all.

Todd had ultimate frisbee the other night so it was sweets night for Katie and banana bread didn't feel right. Ice cream, however, always feels right. I kept this recipe very simple which allows the rum, cardamom, and banana flavors to really shine. Creamed dates lend a sweet, caramel flavor and if the ice cream sits over night, the cardamom mellows.

Spiced Rum, Caramel & Cardamom Banana Ice Cream 

Serves 4

Notes: The rum can be omitted but the ice cream will freeze harder without it. I recommend freezing it overnight unless you want it to be a sort of soft-serve consistency. 

Ingredients

• 4 bananas, frozen and sliced
• 2 dates, pitted
• 2 Tbsp. spiced rum
• 1/2 tsp. kosher salt
• 1/4 tsp. xanthan gum (optional)
• 1/4 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1/8 tsp. ground cardamom

Instructions

Pulse everything in a food processor until creamy and smooth, scraping the sides as necessary. Store in an airtight container in the freezer. 

German Word of The Day

Ice cream headache --> Hirnfrost (hiln-frost)

Good Deed of The Day

Read this article about how the University of Oxford college voted for vegan meals to help fight climate change! Pretty cool! 

German Chocolate Cupcakes

Hello! How was your Father's Day weekend? I hope it was wonderful!

We had a little shindig involving cornhole (holeyboard) and Todd and I made some pretty awesome German Chocolate Cupcakes. Oh, there's one here!

I did a pen and ink of a Chickadee for my dad on his very special day. He says he's been asking for a piece for a lifetime. I cannot recall such beseeching, but regardless...he has one now! It's come to my attention that I tend to be especially and excessively desirous of possessing all works of art I produce. It's just so difficult to give them away. I'm like Gollum. My preciousss. Just look at me below. "Fight me for it, Dad!" Just kidding, that didn't happen. 

Never have I sold any of my work, though I had a follower ask about such an arrangement and I might actually try it! For a long time I've had a kind of soaring of my imagination to have my work in one of our local coffee shops, Vagabond Blues, where different artists are showcased. Alas, I've never inquired about it. I do acrylics and watercolor too.

I didn't actually take a photo of it on the big ol' camera, but I did take one with my phone. Check Produce On Parade out on social media to see more!

Okay, now onto these unbelieveable cupcakes. My dad's favorite cake is German chocolate. Always with the German chocolate cake. Every daughter, wife, grandma, aunt, sister, and girlfriend of any directly related family member knows how to make this cake. It's also my Grandpa and my brother's must have dessert for any special occasion. It gets made a lot 'round these parts. 

So, for Father's Day, there was clearly no choice in the matter. Because there are so many different women who know how to make said cake, the duty kind of rotates every few years. This year though, instead of a cake, I thought I would seriously mix things up and go with cupcakes. Super ballsy of me, I know. It was a real curveball. But guess what else? They had to be vegan, of course! But guess what else?? I stuffed them with the frosting! Oh yes, my friends. Tradition breaker over here!

These little dudes are so easy to make and they will seriously impress. The cake is completely scrumptious all on it's own as evidenced by my little brother who just dumped off the frosting and ate the chocolate cupcake plain. Thanks, Frosting-Hater. But really, the cake is one of the best around and the frosting is well...packed full of shredded coconut and crunchy pecans! These are loved by one who is ridiculously overenthusiastic about German chocolate cake, so you know they're the real deal. 

If you don't want to fill them with the frosting you don't have to, that's up to you! 

German Chocolate Cupcakes

Makes 12

Notes: If not filling the the cupcakes, cut the frosting recipe in half. Adapted from PetitChef. 

Ingredients

• Batter
• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 cup vegan sugar
• heaping 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1/2 tsp. kosher salt
• 1/3 cup coconut oil, melted (unrefined or refined)
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1 tsp. white vinegar
• 1 cup room-temperature coffee (or water)
• Frosting
• 1 1/3 cups soy or coconut milk
• 1 1/4 cups vegan sugar
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract 
• 1 tsp. coconut extract (optional)
• 1/3 cup cornstarch
• 1/4 cup cold water
• 2 cups shredded coconut
• 1 cup pecans, chopped finely 

Instructions

Cupcakes

In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the flour through to and including the salt. In a small mixing bowl or blender, whisk together the remaining, wet batter ingredients. 

Slowing stir the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients until the batter is smooth and shiny. 

Preheat the oven to 350 F and arrange a cupcake pan with 12 cupcake liners. Evenly distribute the batter into the liners. Don't worry if they seem a bit full, they won't expand too much I promise! Bake at 350 F for about 25 minutes until fragrant and the tops bounce back when lightly pressed. 

Remove from pan and allow to rest on a wire cooling rack. 

Frosting

While the cupcakes bake, in a medium saucepan over medium high combine the milk, sugar, and vanilla. Heat until almost boiling, whisking frequently. 

Meanwhile, in a small bowl, whisk together the cold water and cornstarch. Slowly whisk the cornstarch liquid into the milk and sugar mixture. Continue to whisk until very thick and difficult to stir. 

Remove from heat and stir in the coconut and pecans. Allow to cool for about 30 minutes before spreading onto the cupcakes. 

To Fill With Frosting

If you want to add a bit of awesomeness to these cupcakes, feel free to stuff them with the frosting! If you've never done it before, never fear, it's super easy. Here's how. With photos to boot!

When the cupcakes have cooled, cut a square into the top of the cupcake down to the bottom with a paring knife. Wiggle out the square with the knife blade and fill the hole with frosting. Cut off the top of the square and push it back into place, covering the frosting cave. Then, spread more frosting all over the top of the cupcake. Voila! Eat the little bits of leftover cake.

And there you have it. Amazing German chocolate cupcakes, vegan-style!

I know you love little informative infographics so here's one on how to fill a cupcake. Yay!

German Word of The Day

Chocolate cake --> Schokoladenkuchen (shockolaaden-koohen)

Good Deed of The Day

Am I the only person who is completely shocked that pets are still sold in stores? It's pretty f-ed up with happens to them. Let's put an end to it, eh? Please help stop the grisly pet trade. It only takes five seconds!